Everyone who lives and has ever lived has experienced fear, but few truly understand its power. Fear is a force that can be paralysing, motivating, or even lifesaving.
For most people in addiction and recovery, fear is more than just an occasional uneasy feeling; it’s a constant companion that shapes decisions, behaviours, and, ultimately, recovery.
But what is fear, really?
How does it impact addiction?
And, most importantly, how can we harness it as a tool for growth instead of letting it cripple us?
Fear in addiction
Addiction is almost always fueled by fear. The fear of facing life without the crutch of drugs or alcohol can be too overwhelming. Those in active addiction and early recovery hold plenty of fears:
- The fear of facing unresolved trauma
- The fear of failure
- The fear of loneliness
- The fear of change
- The fear of success
- The fear of being vulnerable
- The fear of disappointing others
- The fear of relapsing
These fears appear in various ways. It may be the fear of confronting trauma or facing judgement from others. It may be the fear of dealing with the stigma that society often attaches to addiction. Sometimes, it’s the fear of failure, of trying to get sober and relapsing, which can be so daunting that it prevents people from seeking help in the first place.
What is irrational fear?
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous talks about irrational fear, describing it as a form of self-centred fear that revolves around the ego. It’s the fear of losing what we have or not getting what we want. This kind of fear doesn’t stem from immediate danger but from deep-seated insecurities and anxieties.
Irrational fear leads to distorted thinking and behaviours that keep people trapped in addiction. For example, someone may fear that they’re not good enough. They may not even be able to verbalise this fear, but it is there, and it’s through this lens that they see their world. They may drink or use to cope with the devastating feelings of inadequacy.
The Big Book suggests that these fears are often unfounded and that by holding onto them, we create unnecessary suffering. Irrational fears distort our perceptions and drive us to make decisions based on our insecurities and not reality. Even though these fears are irrational, they feel very real to those experiencing it.
Fear as a motivator: The flip side
Fear can be paralysing, but it also can be a powerful motivator. The fear of losing everything—family, career, health, or even life—can sometimes be the wake-up call needed to change. While uncomfortable, this fear is grounded in reality. It can drive people to seek help. It can drive people to take action and to make the changes to break free from addiction.
For example, many people find the fear of hitting rock bottom or experiencing another painful consequence, like a DUI or losing custody of their children, pushes them to seek treatment. This fear can be harnessed as a motivator to create change.
How to use fear to your advantage in recovery
The Good News: Fear isn’t the enemy! In fact, when acknowledged and understood, it becomes a tool for taking the steps to change your life. Here are some ways to use fear to your advantage in recovery:
Face it head-on:
The first step is to acknowledge your fears for what they are. They are fears. Denying or avoiding fear only gives it more power. Instead, confront it and by dissecting it. Ask yourself what you are afraid of.
- Is it the fear of fear of failure?
- Of being vulnerable?
- Of the unknown?
- Is it an irrational fear that stems from insecurity?
By naming your fears, you take away their power and you start to see them for what they really are.
Challenge irrational thoughts:
Once you have called out your fears, question their validity. Are these fears based on reality? Are they rooted in irrational beliefs? For example, if you fear that you’re not “strong enough” to stay sober, ask yourself for evidence to support that belief.
Often, you will find that these fears are based on assumptions about yourself rather than facts. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) is a great tool for challenging and reframing these irrational thoughts.
Turn it into action:
Use fear as a motivator to take positive steps forward. If you fear relapsing, use that fear to reinforce your commitment to staying sober. Set goals, create a plan, and take action. For example, if you fear social situations because you are afraid they will trigger a relapse, practice setting boundaries and develop strategies to handle these scenarios.
Ask for help:
Don’t face your fears alone. While you may feel alone, many others in recovery have the same exact fears. Support from others who understand can be exactly what you need. Whether it’s through a 12-step program, therapy, or a support group, sharing your fears with others takes away the fear’s power and can help you feel less isolated.
Embrace vulnerability:
One of the biggest fears in recovery is the fear of being vulnerable. However, you cannot have a successful recovery without being vulnerable—it’s essential for growth. Being vulnerable lets you connect with others on a deeper level and be honest about your struggles. By embracing vulnerability, you are opening yourself up to healing and true, lasting recovery.
Overcoming irrational fear
Irrational fear needs its own section because it is so prevalent in recovery. Overcoming irrational fear is a process that involves a lot of self-reflection and patience. It means recognizing that these fears, while they may feel real, are based on false perceptions.
How do you go about working through irrational fear?
Mindfulness and meditation:
Mindfulness and meditation are invaluable tools to help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions without getting caught up in them. Mindfulness teaches you to observe your fears from a distance, and you can begin to see them for what they are—temporary, often irrational states of mind. Meditation can help you bring a sense of calm and perspective, reducing the grip that fear has on you.
Positive affirmations:
Counteract fear with positive affirmations. If you struggle with irrational fears about your worth or capabilities, create affirmations that reinforce your strength and potential. Here are some example affirmations that you can start with:
- I am strong, and I have the power to overcome my challenges.
- I am in control of my choices, and I choose recovery.
- I trust myself to handle hard situations with grace and strength.
- I am worthy of a life free from fear and full of hope.
- I am not alone—I have the support and strength I need to succeed.
Repeating these affirmations throughout the day can help rewire your thinking.
Education and awareness:
Sometimes, fear stems from a lack of understanding or knowledge. Educating yourself about addiction, recovery, and mental health can reduce fear and help you know that you are not alone. There are many resources and tools you can use to understand your recovery journey. The more you know, the less room there is for fear to take hold.
How does fear fit in with long-term recovery?
Fear doesn’t disappear once you are sober. In fact, new fears will emerge as you progress in your recovery. You may fear the future. You may worry about maintaining your recovery. You may feel anxious about reintegrating into society. However, the difference now is that you have tools and support to manage these fears in healthy ways.
In long-term recovery, fear can still serve as a motivator, but it’s important to keep it in check. While it’s normal to have concerns about the future, dwelling on these fears leads to unnecessary anxiety and stress. This is where mindfulness is helpful which teaches you to focus on the present with no judgement attached. Take things one day at a time. Trust in your ability to handle whatever challenges come your way.
Final thoughts: Moving forward with strength
Fear is something we all deal with—it’s just part of being alive. But fear doesn’t have to run your life. When you’re caught in addiction, fear often fuels the harmful choices you make. But in recovery, fear can actually be turned into something powerful, something that helps you grow and thrive.
The first step is understanding your fears, whether they are based on real dangers or just irrational thoughts. Once you do that, you can start taking back control. Recovery isn’t just about quitting the substances. It’s about reclaiming your life from fear and learning how to live with strength and resilience.
Centres for Health and Healing is here to help
If fear has been holding you back, confront it for what it is. Know you don’t have to face it alone. At Centres for Health and Healing, we understand addiction and we specialise in recovery. We are here to help you turn that fear into something that drives your growth and healing.
Reach out to us today. Let us face those fears together and start building a future you can be proud of—one filled with courage, resilience, and best of all, hope.
