
Borderline personality disorder, also called BPD, is a severe mental health condition characterised by unstable moods, thoughts, and behaviours.
BPD is a cluster B personality disorder, meaning that people with this condition are more likely to behave erratically than those without this disorder.
As well as borderline personality disorder, other cluster B disorders include:
- Antisocial personality disorder
- Narcissistic personality disorder
- Histrionic personality disorder
Suppose you have a cluster B personality disorder.
In that case, you may experience unhealthy thought and behaviour patterns that can impair your ability to function, causing issues with impulsivity, dissociation, uncontrollable anger, and unpredictable or drastic emotional responses to certain situations or events.
Like all cluster B disorders, BPD can be effectively treated with psychological therapy and, in some cases, medication to help control the symptoms of the condition so that you can continue to lead a happy, whole, and functional life.
This article looks at the 5 hidden traits of borderline personality disorder.
In the meantime, if you or a loved one are struggling with BPD symptoms or would like to know more about the treatments available for this condition, contact our friendly team today, who will gladly assist.
How we can help
At Centres for Health and Healing, we treat and diagnose a range of mental health conditions, including borderline personality disorder.
We provide customised, integrated treatment programs to help you manage the symptoms of borderline personality disorder, allowing you to develop healthy coping skills and relapse prevention strategies so that your condition no longer has such a distressing impact on your life.
A typical treatment program for BPD at our recovery centre in Ontario usually involves a combination of the following:
- Behavioural therapy such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) or dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT)
- Trauma treatment
- One-on-one counselling with one of our experienced mental health specialists, such as Magda Maggiacomo, Giulia Giatti, Nicholas Cimino, or another member of our counselling team
- Group therapy
- Comprehensive aftercare programs
We provide a safe, nurturing space for you to explore and address any challenging or negative thoughts and behaviours that may be disrupting your life and those you care about.
Our goal is, among other things, to give you the tools and techniques to help you manage your thoughts and behaviours, allowing you to have agency over your symptoms instead of the other way around.
We do this by exploring and addressing any maladaptive thoughts and belief patterns as well as any traumatic experiences you may have encountered in the past.
Once these painful experiences and emotions are reprocessed, you will no longer see them as distressing or upsetting as you once did, leading to increased tolerance to stress and higher levels of resilience.
As part of your treatment, we will explore alternative ways to help you manage intense emotions and daily stressors rather than numbing or blocking out painful emotions through alcohol, drug use, or other unhelpful habits.
This approach to recovery can be particularly beneficial for BPD sufferers who also have a co-occurring disorder such as substance addiction.
Contact our friendly team in Ontario today to learn more about our customised treatment programs.
We are always here to provide help and support to those who need it.
The 5 hidden traits of borderline personality disorder
Symptom awareness for those with BPD is crucial because it can help people identify and recognise when they may need professional support and treatment for their condition.
Since many of the symptoms associated with BPD often overlap with other mental health disorders, such as PTSD and depression, you must understand the signs and symptoms to look out for.
For instance, if you have BPD, you may experience the following:
- Feelings of agitation, boredom, and isolation
- Anxiety
- Distorted or negative self-image
- Severe and sudden mood swings
- Uncontrollable anger
- Persistent negative thoughts and feelings
- Loss of interest in daily routines or hobbies
- Violent behaviour
- Impulsivity
- Dissociation
- Self-harming behaviour
- Suicidal tendencies
While some BPD symptoms are more obvious (like those mentioned above), others may be more subtle and easier to overlook.
Here are 5 hidden traits of BPD you should know about.
1. Unstable relationships

We all have challenges in our relationships from time to time, and this doesn’t always signify a personality disorder like BPD.
However, persistent patterns of relationship instability can often be a hidden sign of borderline personality disorder.
Relationship difficulties in someone with BPD significantly differ from the typical arguments and differences of opinion that most couples experience from time to time.
For instance, a person with BPD may put their significant other on a pedestal, idealising them one moment and devaluing them the next.
This often involves extreme admiration and love (idealisation) and can quickly oscillate to intense anger and dislike (devaluation).
Suppose you have BPD or are in a relationship with someone who has this disorder. In that case, your relationship may fluctuate between extreme intimacy and closeness to sudden distance and apathy.
It is easy to confuse the above traits with someone being passionate or having boundaries or high standards.
However, in truth, individuals with BPD usually have a deep-seated fear of abandonment or rejection, creating a see-saw of emotions and perceptions that wreak havoc and chaos in their relationships.
2. Identity disturbance
Another hidden trait of borderline personality disorder is identity disturbance or confusion.
This may manifest as an unclear or unstable sense of self or sudden, frequent changes in your values, goals, or career aspirations.
For example, your lifelong career goal may have always been to become a doctor, but suddenly, you have a change of heart and want to become a pilot or gym instructor.
Another way that identity disturbance can show up in BPD is when an individual drastically changes their hobbies, interests, or social circle as a way of finding a consistent sense of identity and purpose.
3. Dissociation or paranoia

Another subtle sign or hidden trait of borderline personality disorder is when an individual experiences suspicion or paranoia about other people’s intentions.
For instance, if a friend or family member is too kind or generous toward you, you may suspect them of having some negative agenda or plan up their sleeve.
Or, if your partner surprises you with flowers or an expensive gift, you may suspect them of cheating or another act of betrayal or wrongdoing.
Dissociation
Individuals with BPD may also experience episodes of dissociation where they feel disconnected from reality and the world around them.
Dissociation encompasses the feeling of daydreaming or being intensely focused, as well as the distressing experience of being disconnected from reality.
It often occurs as a result of stress or trauma, and it may be indicative of a dissociative disorder or other mental health condition. (Dissociation, Psychology Today.)
These symptoms or ‘episodes’ may be brief or attributed to stress, which can make them less prominent or noticeable. This can make it more challenging for individuals with BPD to get the help and support they need and deserve.
4. Sensitivity to rejection or criticism
Another hidden trait of BPD is when someone is highly attuned to criticism and rejection by others.
They may experience intense emotional distress from perceived rejection or criticism over minor setbacks or slip-ups.
For example, suppose you have forgotten to reply to a work email; after some time, your supervisor politely sends another message asking you when the weekly report will be sent over.
You may interpret this request as a passive-aggressive attack on your character or believe your job is at risk because you were late sending the report.
Another example is when a partner declines a request to go to the cinema with you because they are working late that evening and will be too tired to enjoy the movie when work finishes.
You may feel rejected or believe they don’t want to spend time with you, which can cause you to shut down and isolate.
5. Ongoing feelings of emptiness

Individuals with BPD often describe feeling “hollow” or “empty.”
As a result, they may engage in specific activities to help fill the empty void inside them, such as substance use, sex, overeating, or compulsive shopping.
Chronic emptiness is a persistent and troubling sense of meaninglessness or hollowness frequently experienced by individuals with BPD.
Unlike temporary moments of loneliness or sadness, this emptiness endures over time, feeling like an unfillable, constant void.
Moreover, the chronic emptiness experienced by BPD sufferers can often be hidden behind a veneer of busyness or a desire for new experiences and adventures, making it difficult for the person and their loved ones to recognise the underlying factors behind these behaviours.
Treating borderline personality disorder
There are various treatments available to those with borderline personality disorder.
Although the condition can be challenging to diagnose due to the inherent stigma and overlapping symptoms of other mental health conditions, with proper help and support, it is possible to manage the symptoms of BPD and lead a happy, healthy, fulfilling life.
Dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT)
Dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) is a highly effective treatment for borderline personality disorder.
DBT aims to help alleviate symptoms of borderline personality disorder by cultivating healthy coping mechanisms to help replace harmful or unhealthy behaviours like substance use or compulsive gambling.
During dialectical behaviour therapy, you get to learn vital skills to help you manage your BPD symptoms, such as mindfulness, emotional regulation, and distress tolerance.
EMDR (eye movement desensitisation reprocessing)
EMDR, short for eye movement desensitisation reprocessing, is a trauma treatment designed to treat post-traumatic stress disorder and other types of trauma.
However, it is also an effective treatment for borderline personality disorder.
Since BPD often stems from early, ongoing interpersonal trauma, EMDR targets these traumatic memories, facilitating more effective processing and integration.
In addition, since ruptures in early attachments between caregiver and child can significantly contribute to BPD symptoms, treatments like EMDR can address these attachment-related wounds, which can help foster healthy interpersonal relationships and lasting recovery.
EMDR also helps individuals reframe their traumatic experiences, allowing them to view their past in new, more empowering ways, leading to enhanced resilience and emotional regulation.

Other effective treatments used for treating borderline personality disorder include:
- Mentalisation-based treatment (MBT)
- Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT)
- Cognitive analytical therapy (CAT)
- Transference-focused psychotherapy (TFP)
- Schema-focused therapy
- Arts and creative therapies, such as drawing, painting, collaging, or sculpting
- Group therapy
- Family support
If you have BPD, you may also benefit from the following self-care strategies and techniques:
- Mindfulness
- Journalling
- Meditation
- Daily exercise such as running, walking, or weight training
- Spending time with friends and family
Living with BPD can be an incredibly lonely experience, particularly if you don’t know any other people who have this condition.
That’s why many people with BPD find support groups extremely helpful.
Connecting with others with the same challenges can make you feel more seen, understood, and less alone.
If you want to learn more about BPD, you may also find the following resources helpful:
- Zero Shades of Grey: Living with BPD, MaryKate Wust, May 2018
- Treating Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), PsychCentral, Juli Fraga, 9 June, 2021
Contact our friendly team at Centres for Health and Healing in confidence today for more information on our borderline personality disorder treatment program.
We are here and ready to help.