Anger gets a bad rap most of the time and it’s not all that surprising for this to be the case!
Feeling angry
If we look at the many ways in which anger gets viewed and sensationalized in pop culture and the media, getting angry and experiencing rage is often correlated to the ”baddie” in some Hollywood movie or that angry person in the grocery store that should be avoided.
Healthy anger
However, experiencing anger can also be healthy; on the other hand, anger can also be a red flag of something that needs to get addressed, which is a positive thing.
People must understand that the emotion of anger is not wrong or punishable in itself, as humans; we get to experience a whole range of powerful emotions, such as:
- Love
- Lust
- Anger
- Joy
- Happiness
- Sadness
- Disappointment
Use anger wisely
Everyone experiences anger, and you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone out there that hasn’t experienced rage and angry feelings at some point during their life!
As mentioned before, anger can be a positive emotion, mainly when managed in a productive manner; anger can also be a catalyst for change and a positive self-motivator.
Although, anger can also be a symptom of a deeper, underlying issue such as depression, unresolved grief and childhood trauma.
Since anger is such a powerful energy and emotion, if not managed properly, it can become destructive.
Therefore, people must find ways to channel their anger into something positive.
First step
There are plenty of healthy ways for you to use your anger in a much more socially acceptable manner.
When we use anger in a positive way, we get to reap the rewards of self-control and personal power, not to mention the ability to regulate our feelings even when all we see is red!
Below are some helpful steps you can take whenever you feel yourself experiencing anger or when you are on the verge of reaching boiling point:
#1. Understand the cause of your anger
Many psychologists will attest to the value in understanding oneself and our anger a bit more.
People must explore their feelings of anger so that they can learn to control any negative triggers.
A person may experience anger if they are:
- Going through a stressful period in life
- Not getting enough sleep
- Experiencing hormonal changes
- Bottling up their feelings and emotions such as sadness, disappointment and worry
- Diagnosed with a mental disorder such as anxiety and depression
Root cause
When taking all this into account, there are many reasons why people experience anger issues, and the first step is to understand the root cause of anger.
#2. Start an anger journal
There is plenty of research that illustrates the positive impact of journaling.
When people write their feelings down, particularly when they are experiencing powerful emotions such as anger, it not only helps to release the negative emotions associated with getting angry but is also an excellent way to release physical pain!
Journaling also helps people view an anger-provoking situation differently, and writing feelings down on paper can be a helpful way to monitor potential triggers that may provoke anger.
Studies show that the advantages of journaling help control rage and anger, but the effectiveness of writing feelings down on paper, allows someone to do something about their anger rather than ruminate over bad situations.
#3. Identifying and avoiding triggers
When people express their anger negatively, for example, through rage or violence, all this can have a detrimental impact on their relationships, the way they view the world, and how they motivate themselves.
Trigger process
We all want to build a better future; however, anger adds fuel to our inability to create the life we want and deserve.
Therefore, people must find ways to identify any anger -related triggers for the future of their health.
Everyone has a unique set of anger triggers, all of which may include:
- Feeling like others do not treat you fairly
- Feeling powerless
- Getting attacked or threatened
- Believing that people do not respect your boundaries, opinions, feelings or possessions
Ways to channel
Being aware of your anger triggers and allowing yourself to accept and be present with unpleasant feelings, such as feeling frustrated, angry or emotional, is the key to channeling those feelings in the right direction, all of which helps keep your temper under control.
When you turn your anger into something positive – even if this means trying out deep breathing exercises or becoming aware of your anger triggers, you will be in a much better position to control the chemical responses in your body, such as fight or flight.
The ability to predict our anger gives us agency over how we think, feel and behave, mainly when anger-inducing situations arise.
#4. Prevent yourself from venting too much
One of the most destructive elements of anger is when people over-vent about whatever is bothering them.
When we ruminate over the negative things going on in our lives, anger is one of many emotions that gets access to how we perceive any given situation or person.
Pent up anger
Someone may have done us wrong; many people do in life.
Whether our disappointments arise from a past toxic relationship, friendship or other relationships, studies show that excessive venting only fuels the fire of anger because it’s hard to forget an annoyance if we are constantly talking about it.
People must seek the support of a therapist or counselor if they want to talk about whatever has angered them since mental health professionals can offer help and advice on dealing with anger effectively.
#5. Once you are feeling calm, express your anger
When people get overwhelmed by stress and anger, it can often lead to explosive results; when people fight, they say all the wrong words to each other (usually the ones that deliver the most pain) to get a specific type of response.
When we use anger in a non-productive way, the result is usually regret and shame.
Essentially, there is nothing positive or creative in destructive anger, hence why the remorse gets felt so deeply after an angry outburst.
Successful response
A helpful way to deal with anger and rage is to wait until the dust settles and, once calm, re-visit the situation in an assertive and non-confrontational manner.
By asserting your feelings in a way that does not inflict hurt or pain towards others, you put yourself in a much better position to get your point across and learn to channel your anger in a much better way.
When to seek help
If you or someone you know is struggling with anger problems – perhaps it’s time to get in touch with a specialist who can help.
Since anger is such a powerful emotion, it can have a detrimental impact on our physical and mental well being.
Fortunately, there are many ways to get help and support, all of which will help free you from the clutches of anger through understanding, compassion and encouragement.
